Your BFFs (best friends forever) are a huge part of your hookup dating lives. They have always been there with you through every crush, all the first dates, serious or not so serious relationships and the break ups. Here are 15 commandments we think best friends should have towards each other when it comes to hookup dating.
1. We will examine and analyze every message—be it email or text—down to the punctuation marks, spelling, grammar and number of characters used. We fully understand that this endeavor may take hours to finish.
2. We will agree that whoever your crush is should be “really cute,” and that appraisal will remain as it is until he or she starts showing a lack of interest, in which case they become “not really that cute.”
3. We will listen to each other’s questions about sex no matter how awkward or embarrassing they may be. And for questions we don’t know the answer to, we will gladly help look up online.
4. We will always be available to be each other’s friendicators/date decoys/designated cockblock/strategic third wheels. With that being said...
5. We will always carefully learn and read each other’s signals, and know when to split if either of us wants to be alone or want to see some action with someone.
6. But if one of us says “please don’t leave me alone with him/her,” we will never leave. Wild horses, baby.
7. We will gamely wingwoman each other even if it does mean taking one for the team and flirting with the less attractive and boring friend.
8. We will always be ready to take part in a post–date analysis the moment a date ends.
9. We will dutifully hide the fact that we find each other’s boyfriend or girlfriend secretly annoying and obnoxious. He will be invited to every group outing, and we will make an effort to talk to him and include him whenever we’re all out together.
10. If a serious boyfriend shows up to what we thought was going to be girls night, we will not throw a fit. However, we will also not do this too often.
11. We will find each other’s nauseatingly sweet relationship milestones adorable. We will listen to each other brag about the relationship long after everyone else in our lives has gotten tired of it.
12. We will dutifully get dressed up and go “paint the town red” to “hit on some hot guys” and “get really drunk like we used to” if either of us feels the need to do this after a break–up.
13. We promise to keep close tabs on each other’s exes so that if he/she has a new girlfriend, we can break the news gently.
14. And we will, under any circumstances, stay friends with each other’s exes, even if we think he or she was sort of nice.
15. We will always believe that the other is amazing, beautiful, wonderful and deserving of a perfect and lasting relationship. We will remind each other of this always.
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